Rather than focus on just one main subject area this week, I decided to have this set of questions be more of a variety pack. There are questions on travel, work and politics. Enjoy!
1. Can you describe a favorite travel memory? It doesn’t have to be extraordinary - simple is good, too – but what is a memory of some travel experience that you treasure?
2. What is something you’ve learned from traveling - a lesson that you’ve tried to carry with you in the rest of your life?
3. I’ve been doing a bit of reading about work and careers lately, and came across this quote: “Jump, and a net will appear.” What does that say to you, if anything, and does it apply in any way to your own life?
4. Here is another quote about work and life choices that I recently discovered: “I must simplify my life, and whittle down what I do to the things that I am absolutely the most passionate about, or else I risk being stuck in mediocrity.” Similarly, what does that say to you, if anything, and does it apply to your own life?
5. The U.S presidential election is on Tuesday. By the time you have to answer this question, we’ll know the outcome of the vote. How do you think the result of this election affects how the world views the U.S.? (Or, if you prefer, how you personally view the U.S., or how the U.S. might view itself?)
Showing posts with label Bob Riel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bob Riel. Show all posts
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
BOB RIEL: Prejudice and Stereotypes
1. What are some of the things people who don't know you very well tend to think about you?
Well, I just got back from an appointment with a new chiropractor and am currently sitting in a local cafe, where I just had a short conversation about coffee and Halloween with a barista who only recently began working here. Neither of these individuals know me well at all, so what would their impressions be of me? I think for someone who doesn't know me very well, I come across as friendly, down to earth, calm, probably unexcitable. People who know me slightly better probably assume I am relatively organized.
2. Which of these assumptions are true?
All of them, at least to some degree (otherwise people wouldn't get a certain impression, right?). However, with people who know me well, I think I'm more excitable, have more interests and am less organized than I probably show in public.
3. Which stereotypes about your country are true about you, if any?
Americans are generally seen as a friendly people. They are also perceived to be individualists and risk-takers. And, for better or worse, I guess most non-U.S. citizens perceive Americans to be woefully uninformed about or uninterested in the rest of the world. I meet the first stereotype in that I'm a friendly person who is easy to get along with. I'm an intermittent risk-taker (more than some people but less than others, and perhaps less than I should be). I am, though, very interested in the rest of the world.
4. What are situations in which you find yourself to be prejudiced?
Does it make sense to be prejudiced against people who are prejudiced? And does this mean, in fact, that I'm no better than those I'm prejudiced against? Sorry, but I do find myself with a prejudice against those who judge others by their skin color or their education or whatever. And I can't help myself, but I'm prejudiced against the right-wing nutjobs who make up the base of the national Republican party here in the U.S. Not against all Republicans, as there are some very good and reasonable ones out there, but some of these people really need to get a grip on reality.
5. To you, what value is there in stereotypes?
Stereotypes are valuable to the degree that they give us a flavor of the truth. Just as in question one, surface assumptions about an individual have at least some basis in reality but are rarely the entire story. It's the same with stereotypes about a people or culture. They are not completely true, but there are enough nuggets of truth to give us insight into how a people act and think.
Well, I just got back from an appointment with a new chiropractor and am currently sitting in a local cafe, where I just had a short conversation about coffee and Halloween with a barista who only recently began working here. Neither of these individuals know me well at all, so what would their impressions be of me? I think for someone who doesn't know me very well, I come across as friendly, down to earth, calm, probably unexcitable. People who know me slightly better probably assume I am relatively organized.
2. Which of these assumptions are true?
All of them, at least to some degree (otherwise people wouldn't get a certain impression, right?). However, with people who know me well, I think I'm more excitable, have more interests and am less organized than I probably show in public.
3. Which stereotypes about your country are true about you, if any?
Americans are generally seen as a friendly people. They are also perceived to be individualists and risk-takers. And, for better or worse, I guess most non-U.S. citizens perceive Americans to be woefully uninformed about or uninterested in the rest of the world. I meet the first stereotype in that I'm a friendly person who is easy to get along with. I'm an intermittent risk-taker (more than some people but less than others, and perhaps less than I should be). I am, though, very interested in the rest of the world.
4. What are situations in which you find yourself to be prejudiced?
Does it make sense to be prejudiced against people who are prejudiced? And does this mean, in fact, that I'm no better than those I'm prejudiced against? Sorry, but I do find myself with a prejudice against those who judge others by their skin color or their education or whatever. And I can't help myself, but I'm prejudiced against the right-wing nutjobs who make up the base of the national Republican party here in the U.S. Not against all Republicans, as there are some very good and reasonable ones out there, but some of these people really need to get a grip on reality.
5. To you, what value is there in stereotypes?
Stereotypes are valuable to the degree that they give us a flavor of the truth. Just as in question one, surface assumptions about an individual have at least some basis in reality but are rarely the entire story. It's the same with stereotypes about a people or culture. They are not completely true, but there are enough nuggets of truth to give us insight into how a people act and think.
Friday, October 24, 2008
BOB RIEL: Funerals
1. Which is the best funeral you ever visited?
Two funerals, actually. My grandmother's funeral and then my wife's grandfather's. There was nothing extraordinary about either event, as they were both simple affairs. There was sadness, of course, in knowing that the person was gone, but in both cases there was joy in recognizing that we were there to celebrate a life well-lived and long-lived.
2. Which is the worst funeral you ever visited?
My niece's. She was not yet a year old and, although she was born with a dangerous condition, it appeared that she had survived the worst and was well on her way to normal health when tragedy struck. There was something unbelievably dreadful about seeing her tiny, tiny coffin and watching my sister wail in grief. Such a different experience from saying goodbye to a grandparent who lived into old age and died of natural causes.
3. Did you make any plans for your own funeral?
I have not. It still seems too abstract to think about. Though I am reminded of an episode of the U.S. television show "Frasier" in which the lead character worked on writing his own obituary as a self-actualizing exercise to help him think about how he wanted to live the rest of his life. I suppose planning one's own funeral could have much the same affect, in that it would force us to consider how we want our life to be celebrated.
4. What are your thoughts on burial in the soil versus cremation? Which is better? Which is better for you?
Like most of you, I am also an organ donor. And I always thought that cremation made the most sense, if only to save the land and expense of a burial plot. Although for families that have lived in the same geographical area for generations, there is something to be said for having a spot where people can go to memorialize and remember their close relatives.
5. And finally: Isn't it just odd that the word funeral starts with fun...? What are your thoughts on the very word? And what is the word for funeral in your language, if your first language isn't English?
I guess my only comment would be that I, also, want my funeral to be fun in the sense that people can celebrate our relationship and my life.
And Jen, thank you for researching the etymology of the word. It's appropriate that it means to come full circle. That's really the perfect meaning. I also love your comment about babies who are born into families near when another family member dies. That actually happened to us, as our son was born just two weeks after Lisa's grandfather passed away. We were sad that her grandfather never got to meet Brady, but it was actually a topic of conversation at the funeral - the fact that we would soon be welcoming a life into the world, showing that life comes full circle and goes on.
Two funerals, actually. My grandmother's funeral and then my wife's grandfather's. There was nothing extraordinary about either event, as they were both simple affairs. There was sadness, of course, in knowing that the person was gone, but in both cases there was joy in recognizing that we were there to celebrate a life well-lived and long-lived.
2. Which is the worst funeral you ever visited?
My niece's. She was not yet a year old and, although she was born with a dangerous condition, it appeared that she had survived the worst and was well on her way to normal health when tragedy struck. There was something unbelievably dreadful about seeing her tiny, tiny coffin and watching my sister wail in grief. Such a different experience from saying goodbye to a grandparent who lived into old age and died of natural causes.
3. Did you make any plans for your own funeral?
I have not. It still seems too abstract to think about. Though I am reminded of an episode of the U.S. television show "Frasier" in which the lead character worked on writing his own obituary as a self-actualizing exercise to help him think about how he wanted to live the rest of his life. I suppose planning one's own funeral could have much the same affect, in that it would force us to consider how we want our life to be celebrated.
4. What are your thoughts on burial in the soil versus cremation? Which is better? Which is better for you?
Like most of you, I am also an organ donor. And I always thought that cremation made the most sense, if only to save the land and expense of a burial plot. Although for families that have lived in the same geographical area for generations, there is something to be said for having a spot where people can go to memorialize and remember their close relatives.
5. And finally: Isn't it just odd that the word funeral starts with fun...? What are your thoughts on the very word? And what is the word for funeral in your language, if your first language isn't English?
I guess my only comment would be that I, also, want my funeral to be fun in the sense that people can celebrate our relationship and my life.
And Jen, thank you for researching the etymology of the word. It's appropriate that it means to come full circle. That's really the perfect meaning. I also love your comment about babies who are born into families near when another family member dies. That actually happened to us, as our son was born just two weeks after Lisa's grandfather passed away. We were sad that her grandfather never got to meet Brady, but it was actually a topic of conversation at the funeral - the fact that we would soon be welcoming a life into the world, showing that life comes full circle and goes on.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
ATTACHMENT - Bob Riel
1. What are you attached to that may ultimately be providing more pain, suffering or negative than pleasure and benefit? And why do you continue to stay attached?
Is it possible to be too attached to geography? Here is why I ask: I love oceans and seasons, and I love urban environments. Left to my own devices and with enough finances, I'd live in Boston or New York, or in a smaller town by the ocean. However, I find myself in a suburban environment in Arizona, in the middle of the desert. There are excellent reasons for this - my wife is from Tucson, she has a great job, her family is here, and the cost of living is low. But I'm unable to escape my attachment to a different geography, my desire for a different environment.
Does this provide more pain than pleasure? I can't say yes to that when I see my son getting to know his extended family on my wife's side (a situation that isn't fully possible with my family, with parents and siblings sprinkled across Rhode Island, Florida and Utah). I can't say yes when I see how happy my wife is in her job. I can't say yes when I see that we can afford a nice home here for the price of a tiny apartment on the East or West coasts. But if there is not more pain than pleasure, then there is at least some angst. It would be easier, of course, to let go of my desire for any idealized environment whatsoever and to simply "be" in the present. But I'm human and I unfortunately haven't mastered the art of living according to an abstract ideal.
2. Does your “attachment score” at the following survey indicate anything important about your feelings on attachment?
No. The survey indicates I fall into the secure quadrant. After seven years of marriage and more than a decade in the same relationship, I might begin to worry if the survey showed a different result.
3. Is someone too attached to you?
I don't think so. My wife and son are fairly attached to me (as far as I can tell), but to be "too" attached in my mind implies an unhealthy dependency. My wife is not dependent on me to be a strong, vital person in her own right, and my son is 12 months old so being attached sort of comes with the territory. If any attachment is loving and doesn't cross over into dependency, then I'm unable to define it as "too attached." I love Andreas' answer - "Daring to be attached is a part of daring to love to the fullest."
4. Share your thoughts on the following quote: “"Suffering finds its roots in your desire to be free from something that's either present for you right now or something that you fear may be present for you in the future . . . Your suffering is directly proportional to the intensity of your attachments to these passing phenomena and to the strength of your habit of seeking for some kind of personal identity in the world of forms." - Chuck Hillig
There is some truth in this statement, and perhaps it relates a little to my answer to the first question, but the quote doesn't grab me or shake me. The suggestion that suffering is caused in part by my desire to seek "personal identity in the world of forms" may resonate from a theological/philosophical perspective, but I'm too wrapped up in the world of forms at the moment to even desire release from a personal identity. Perhaps that's unfortunate from Chuck's perspective, but I rather like grappling with the wonders and the challenges of the world of forms.
5. Are you able to get rid of the life you’ve planned, so you can have the life that is waiting for you?
This is a very interesting question. I've always believed that the answer to this was an obvious yes, and I have in fact reinvented myself a few times. But I'm also realizing that the further one gets into life, each new direction may be more challenging than the one before it, as our lives are slowly constructed over a foundation of all of our earlier choices.
I find it intriguing, actually, how life unfurls as a series of independent decisions that, in their totality, become our lives and may even lead us far from where we began. In my case, for instance - Do I want to get married? Take time off from work to travel? Write a book about these travels? Move to Arizona for a job for my wife? Have a child? Until one day, these choices deposited me in my current life, as a part-time writer, part-time stay-at-home Dad in the Arizona desert. And the thing is, I know this will evolve and change, as well. So I look at life with a sort of wonder at how these varied decisions congeal and become part of a larger reality.
So, yes, I'm able to get rid of the life I've planned and to reinvent myself. I know this because I've done it. But I do think that my desire and ability to do this dwindles just a bit with each passing year.
Is it possible to be too attached to geography? Here is why I ask: I love oceans and seasons, and I love urban environments. Left to my own devices and with enough finances, I'd live in Boston or New York, or in a smaller town by the ocean. However, I find myself in a suburban environment in Arizona, in the middle of the desert. There are excellent reasons for this - my wife is from Tucson, she has a great job, her family is here, and the cost of living is low. But I'm unable to escape my attachment to a different geography, my desire for a different environment.
Does this provide more pain than pleasure? I can't say yes to that when I see my son getting to know his extended family on my wife's side (a situation that isn't fully possible with my family, with parents and siblings sprinkled across Rhode Island, Florida and Utah). I can't say yes when I see how happy my wife is in her job. I can't say yes when I see that we can afford a nice home here for the price of a tiny apartment on the East or West coasts. But if there is not more pain than pleasure, then there is at least some angst. It would be easier, of course, to let go of my desire for any idealized environment whatsoever and to simply "be" in the present. But I'm human and I unfortunately haven't mastered the art of living according to an abstract ideal.
2. Does your “attachment score” at the following survey indicate anything important about your feelings on attachment?
No. The survey indicates I fall into the secure quadrant. After seven years of marriage and more than a decade in the same relationship, I might begin to worry if the survey showed a different result.
3. Is someone too attached to you?
I don't think so. My wife and son are fairly attached to me (as far as I can tell), but to be "too" attached in my mind implies an unhealthy dependency. My wife is not dependent on me to be a strong, vital person in her own right, and my son is 12 months old so being attached sort of comes with the territory. If any attachment is loving and doesn't cross over into dependency, then I'm unable to define it as "too attached." I love Andreas' answer - "Daring to be attached is a part of daring to love to the fullest."
4. Share your thoughts on the following quote: “"Suffering finds its roots in your desire to be free from something that's either present for you right now or something that you fear may be present for you in the future . . . Your suffering is directly proportional to the intensity of your attachments to these passing phenomena and to the strength of your habit of seeking for some kind of personal identity in the world of forms." - Chuck Hillig
There is some truth in this statement, and perhaps it relates a little to my answer to the first question, but the quote doesn't grab me or shake me. The suggestion that suffering is caused in part by my desire to seek "personal identity in the world of forms" may resonate from a theological/philosophical perspective, but I'm too wrapped up in the world of forms at the moment to even desire release from a personal identity. Perhaps that's unfortunate from Chuck's perspective, but I rather like grappling with the wonders and the challenges of the world of forms.
5. Are you able to get rid of the life you’ve planned, so you can have the life that is waiting for you?
This is a very interesting question. I've always believed that the answer to this was an obvious yes, and I have in fact reinvented myself a few times. But I'm also realizing that the further one gets into life, each new direction may be more challenging than the one before it, as our lives are slowly constructed over a foundation of all of our earlier choices.
I find it intriguing, actually, how life unfurls as a series of independent decisions that, in their totality, become our lives and may even lead us far from where we began. In my case, for instance - Do I want to get married? Take time off from work to travel? Write a book about these travels? Move to Arizona for a job for my wife? Have a child? Until one day, these choices deposited me in my current life, as a part-time writer, part-time stay-at-home Dad in the Arizona desert. And the thing is, I know this will evolve and change, as well. So I look at life with a sort of wonder at how these varied decisions congeal and become part of a larger reality.
So, yes, I'm able to get rid of the life I've planned and to reinvent myself. I know this because I've done it. But I do think that my desire and ability to do this dwindles just a bit with each passing year.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
AUTHOR BIO: Bob Riel
BOB RIEL. Tucson, Arizona. Husband. New father. Stay at home father and writer of cultural learning and awareness materials. Author of book, “Two Laps Around the World: Tales and Insights from a Life Sabbatical.” The book is about the experience Bob and his wife Lisa had when we decided to take a few months off from careers to travel. “The experience was so incredible that we repeated the experience less than three years later and so ended up traveling around the world twice - once in each direction.” Bob writes at his daily blog “Travels in the Riel World” at: http://www.rielworld.com. Bob has written numerous articles and training manuals about business cultures around the world. He is a former newspaper reporter.
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