ATTACHMENT - Eduardo Infante

1. What are you attached to that may ultimately be providing more pain, suffering or negative than than pleasure and benefit? And why do you continue to stay attached?

My comfort zone. As surprising as it is, I am rather aware than I am in a comfort zone, and I’ve been doing very little lately to get out of it. Mmhh, in fact, it’s not even like I just realized that I’m living in as comfort zone. It’s more as if I’ve been aware about it for months, perhaps years, and time has elapsed without me trying to do something to stop it.

This comfort zone includes a lot of things. Work is obviously among the most important matters. I’ve been working for the same employer for the past 10 years in three months from now. I’ve learnt a lot working for my university campus. But I’ve also let behind some opportunities, just because I felt protected around here. Safety is something every human being seeks at some instance in their lives. The boundaries between safety and comfort zone are somehow narrow, though. And I think I’ve past protection and security to get stuck in comfort.

Some other aspects of this comfort zone, and thus, attachment, include: status, love, and lifestyle.

2. Does your “attachment score” at the following survey indicate anything important about your feelings on attachment?

No, it does not. I think I’ve known about my attachments since a long time ago. Therefore, the attachment score is not surprising at all. If something, it reminds me that I could always take some risks and start dis-attaching myself from stuff that it’s simply “not allowing me to fly”.

3. Is someone too attached to you?

I believe so. The practical answer would be my daughters are. Yet, at ages 4 and 6, I’m very aware that, if for some reason I disappeared from their lives, it could always be a bummer, but they’d have the capacity to adjust. That’s the gift we all receive from God, the capacity to adjust and make changes. I’ve always believed that one tends to forget about it as you grow old, though.

Now, my wife Amira might be a little different. Sometimes, I have the feeling she’s too attached and too dependant on me. Yet, from time to time I like to remind myself that I’m not that important, either. Nobody is. In the end, you are born, and die, alone.

4. Share your thoughts on the following quote: ”Suffering finds its roots in your desire to be free from something that's either present for you right now or something that you fear may be present for you in the future . . . Your suffering is directly proportional to the intensity of your attachments to these passing phenomena and to the strength of your habit of seeking for some kind of personal identity in the world of forms.” - Chuck Hillig

Just like Andreas does, I don’t think that suffering has to do that much with mathematics as it has to do with feelings and people’s personal experiences. What I do believe is correct, nonetheless, is the fact that attachments, hatred, and not guilt are key components to a miserable life. The more you have them, the smaller the chance to ride a happy life you get.

5. Are you able to get rid of the life you’ve planned, so you can have the life that is waiting for you?

Yes, everybody is able to do such thing. Are we willing to? Are we aware that we can? Do we want to? Are we fearful about it? Are we able to ponder the pros and the cons? Is comfort too big of an issue in our lives so that we rather play it safe? When some of these questions come into play, it gets more, and more, and more complicated. In my case, it’s evident I have not taken a step forward to even take a glance out of the window to see the life that’s been waiting for me and that I have not dared to go greeting.