EDUARDO INFANTE: Travel, Work and Poltics

Hi there! I'm still struggling with a bit of a delay in posting that I'm planning on cutting this weekend. Here's my answers to last week's questions. Again, better now than never! (Or is this another typical example of this young Mexican's "mañana" culture?... Sorry for the delay, is all I can say)

1. Can you describe a favorite travel memory? It doesn’t have to be extraordinary - simple is good, too – but what is a memory of some travel experience that you treasure?
Like some of you FQOF (Five Questions On Friday) authors, I did a year of traveling in this wacky organization called Up With People. Well, some of you did more than a year, while at least one of you did a little less than a year. Anyways, I guess that the time in Up With People gives us plenty of inspiration to write about a favorite travel memory.

But my favorite travel memory is not related to Up With People. At least not this time. This story is about a trip I did back in high school.

Back in those days, when I was a teenager and life did not seem as complicated as it now seems sometimes, a bunch of friends and I made this trip to Zacatecas, one of Mexico's most beautiful colonial towns. We won a contest at our school (don't ask details, but we cheated, I must admit) that allowed us to come visit for an entire day (the trip from home is really short) instead of going to school. So we did.

Among the many episodes of that particular 1-day trip, the one that comes to mind right away is that of myself standing in front of a crowd of total strangers, at the town's main square, and me babbling nonsense. These people probably thought that I was a comedian of some sort. Perhaps, they were waiting to hear something intelligent coming out of my mouth. But nothing rational did come. As my friends and I were walking down the street, I just felt the urge to ramble. And so I did. Words started flowing, people congregated, and all of a sudden there it was, an audience in a show in which I was the main character.

The plaza was filled with doves, there were plenty of them. And the show was about me trying to convince the listeners of purchasing those doves from me. White doves were for making peace. Black doves were for making war. (I know, my writing doesn't make sense, thus far. I know. My talking didn't either, back then) Either I was a damn good dove seller, or these people in this highly touristy town had just too much time to spare, for the crowd reached a couple dozen people in its best moment.

I was 17 then. 16 years afterward, at the age of 33, I think about this younger version of me, in a time when I wasn't afraid of making a fool of myself, nor was ashamed of stepping out of my comfort zone, and could not care less for public exposure.

Perhaps, the reason why life seemed brighter than it sometimes seems today, is because I was not so aware of people's opinion's on me back then. Perhaps, one starts feeling (and acting) old when one begins to take life seriously, forgetting about adding some foolishness to one's life every now and then. Perhaps, this serious approach won't necessarily make you smarter.


2. What is something you've learned from traveling - a lesson that you've tried to carry with you in the rest of your life?
The two things I've learned from traveling that I think I've tried to carry with me in the rest of my life is 1) never trust tourist guides, and 2) you can learn amazing things by simply walking.

I won't get into details with point number 1. It's self explanatory. I'd rather get deeper with point number 2.

When I was 15 years-old I did my first trip to the other side of the Atlantic, entirely by myself. Well, sort of. I was part of a large crowd en route to Roma, Italy, in order to celebrate the 50 Anniversary of the foundation of Legion of Christ, a religious congregation in which I participated vividly in my younger years. The point, nonetheless, is that I was traveling by myself, without my parents. It was also my first trip abroad.

We spent about a week in Rome, participating in several religious services, and having the chance to greet Pope John Paul II three times during that week. But we also had plenty of free time to hang around and do the typical sightseeing tourists do. Even though I was part of a group of people, it was not like I was supposed to be with them all the time. I remember that one day, on a Sunday morning, I simply took off my hotel and started walking.

I walked and walked without really know where I was going. It was not even the touristy kind of walk, in which you're following map directions in order to hit a certain sightseeing spot. No, this was more of a get-to-witness-real-Rome-and-its-neighborhoods-with-no-tourist-attractions walk. I remember greeting people on the streets, just for the heck of it. Some of them would look at me with awe, but would still smile back. Some of them ignored me, instead. Just as it would happen in any other street back in my country, I thought. I went to churches, saw buildings, smelled the food, fought the traffic - which in Italy, it's a real challenge for any pedestrian -, and got lost. But I did find what real Rome was all about in the end.

Later in my life, I've done the same things in many of the places I've been. I've just taken off and have walked, to have a better feeling of what life is in other corners of the world. And every time that I visit a new place, I try to walk. And so I've walked in Toronto, Canada; in Ciudad Obregon, Sonora; in Hamilton, Bermuda; in Helsinki, Finland; in Paris, France; in Mexico City; in Caracas, Venezuela; and in many other interesting places around the world. I just did not walk in Tucson, Arizona, last Summer. It was too hot.


3. I've been doing a bit of reading about work and careers lately, and came across with this quote: "Jump, and a net will appear." What does that say to you, if anything, and does it apply in any way to your own life?

I think it's a rather true statement. I was just reading the story of a farmer who losses his only cow, and after some months, becomes a rather successful person doing something completely different than milking his cow. The reason why this happened is because this farmer, when losing his cow, jumped, and new things were there to greet him.

Does this philosophy apply to my life? One could say it does not, since I've been working for the same university for the past ten years of my life, without risking to attempt a change in direction, apparently. Yes, I reckon I'm more of an averse to risk individual. But I know that there is always a new window of opportunities if we only dare to attempt looking at the other side of the hill. And I so need this philosophy in my current stage of life...


4. Here is another quote about work and life choices that I recently discovered: “I must simplify my life, and whittle down what I do to the things that I am absolutely the most passionate about, or else I risk being stuck in mediocrity.” Similarly, what does that say to you, if anything, and does it apply to your own life?

I could not agree more with it. In fact, I teach my students something like that, called "The 3 Circles and the Hedgehog Concept", by Jim Collins. I like to show my students a video on Ethan Bortnick, a 6 year old kid who has has found the intersection of the three circles in his life. In order to be happy, he just has to keep exploiting this core for the rest of his life. I think that's the way it should work for everyone. In my case, I thing that I'm passionate about communicating with people, perhaps in the training industry. Perhaps that's where I should be heading next?


5. The U.S presidential election is on Tuesday. By the time you have to answer this question, we’ll know the outcome of the vote. How do you think the result of this election affects how the world views the U.S.? (Or, if you prefer, how you personally view the U.S., or how the U.S. might view itself?)

That's a very interesting question that I'd rather answer in another posting, if you allow me to do so. Can I do it like that?

EDUARDO INFANTE: Predjudice and Stereotypes

Ok, first of all, I apologize for the delay. Several events in my personal/professional life led me to skip posting anything two weeks ago. I am now writing with a big delay. But assuming you all understand how hectic things can get from time to time, I'm sorry you'll forgive me. So here's my answers...

1. What are some of the things that people who don't know you very well tend to think of you?
People who don't know me tend to think of me as: a) a very serious individual, b) a kind fellow, c) an easy-going dude, d) a mature guy, and e) a well-informed person.


2. Which of these assumptions are true?
Let's see... let me get through each of these on an individual basis:

a) A very serious individual. This is the most basic assumption that people who don't know me make about me. And it's true, to some extent. I would not call my self a serious person as much as I would say I'm a rather thoughtful guy. That is, I like to internalize my thought before they come out of my mouth. Most times, however, this is perceived as if I were a rather quiet, perhaps shy person, which is not true. Those who know me well know that I can be as outgoing and outspoken as anyone else. It's just that I like to measure my words and actions before hand... most times.

b) A kind fellow. Yes, they get me right if that's the first impression I leave on people to whom I just met. I'm kind, I'm mellow, I'm the kind of person who cares about others, who suffers with injustice, and who cannot help drop a tear or two in the movies, if the film calls for it. I also try to be gentle on people. My education steps up most times, and it's rather improbable than I won't let a lady in first, when we're both about to enter a building.

c) An easy-going dude. No hidden personality here, either. I try to go through life in a happy-go-lucky mode, which sometimes drives people close to me (e.g. wife) nuts.

d) A mature guy. I am mature. But sometimes I get to be too childish, too. Perhaps, most people who first meet me may be led to think I'm more mature than I actually am.

e) A well-informed person. My cultural baggage and my education, as well as my drive to stay up to the news, on almost everything, usually allow me to get along with most types of people, despite the apparent differences I may have with them.

3. Which stereotypes about your country are true, if any?

• Mexicans are lazy. Eduardo Infante is not lazy, but he is perhaps a little bit too laid-back for some cultures.
• Mexicans are warm and friendly.Yep, that's me.
• Mexicans are not hard workers. Not me. If 70 hours a week at my workplace and a huge commitment to my employer are not enough to argue the contrary, I can at least guarantee you that you will find a hard worker in me. If something, I can get too distracted, trying to do too many things at once, from time to time.

4. What are situations in which you find yourself to be prejudiced?

At 5'10'', I don't fall in the "tall people" category. Sometimes, I've found that people tend to think better of taller persons, and (profesionally) I've found myself excluded from certain opportunities, just because of my height. My weight is a whole different issue. I have the feeling that some people may judge me as a non persistant person just because I've let myself to gain some extra pounds in the recent years.


5. To you, what value is there in stereotypes?
I try to think of stereotypes as a negative in the way we perceive things. Nonetheless, I would lie if I said I don't have stereotypes on others myself. Therefore, I can at least assure you that I've learned from my mistakes, and can honestly say that breaking stereotypes is one of the most gratifying things that have ever happened to me.

EDUARDO INFANTE: Funerals

1. Which is the best funeral you ever visited?

That’s got to be Jaime’s, my best friend from High School, who died at the age of 24 while riding his bicycle in a rather shocking accident. Not only was Jaime my best friend, but I was very close to his family, too. So, in his funeral, and even in the days prior to his decease, my role was being a pillar for them. For some reason, even though there was sadness, there were also over 200 people showing up at the funeral, all demonstrating how much Jaime had touched them in life.

2. Which is the worst funeral you ever visited?

A high school classmate’s, who died at the age of 15. I didn’t really know the guy. But the whole funeral was impacting since it made me realize that life was not to be taken for granted.

3. Did you make any plans for your own funeral?

No, I have not. But I certainly would like joy to reign over sorrow.

4. What are your thoughts on burial in the soil versus cremation? Which is better? Which is better for you?

Like some of you, I’m also an organ donor. And I’m more for cremation than for burial. I don’t know, I guess it’s a little bit less painful for family and friends.

5. And finally: Isn't it just odd that the word funeral starts with fun...? What are your thoughts on the very word? And what is the word for funeral in your language, if your first language isn't English?

I had never actually stopped to focus on the first few letters of this word. In Spanish, it’s cepelio, and it does not have any special connotation other than a rather painful one.

RESPONSIBILITY - Eduardo Infante

1. What is your principle on RESPONSIBILITY. And how does that play out in your life?
My principal responsibility, as I see it, is to take advantage of the gifts/talents that God/life has granted me.

Therefore, my principle on responsibility is that it (responsibility) plays an important role in my life as I usually question whether my actions can impact my environment, the things surrounding me. Usually, the answer to that question is “yes”, and so I engage into more duties and tasks than what a person living in his comfort zone may think is good for one’s mental/moral/legal health.


2. Where does the principle of responsibility come from?
In my case, it comes from a mixture of both, my religious beliefs and my personal outlook to life. I’m one who believes in justice and fairness, thus, I tend to believe that a person with more privileges is a person with more responsibilities, too. I live in a country where less than 2% of the total population has the chance to study in a private university, undertake a undergrad degree, and a later postgraduate (masters) degree, like I did. Hence, it’s only natural for me to believe that I have way more responsibilities to my country than the person next door. Is this a requirement? Not at all. It does not come by fear, either. It’s basically a condition under which I fully acknowledge that I must not play a passive role. Teaching has been a way to do something in favor of my community, for I see it as a safe way to promote change in a somehow non-hostile environment.


3. What is something you learned from being irresponsible?
I’ve learned that you cannot ever be either fully responsible or fully irresponsible. There is always going to be a good combination of the two. In those moments in which I’ve let myself be carried away with irresponsibility, I’ve learned that I’m fonder of the responsible side. For some reason, I enjoy more being accountable than not.

4. What is an example in the world today in which you, or someone greater than you, needs to take more responsibility?
If I take it to my daily life, I could find plenty examples in which universities, and in general, the whole education system, needs to stress, a bit more eagerly, certain principles in the young adults we are pretending to shape. Precisely today, I talked about an example with my employer in which we let a group of students get away with their acts, without showing them the consequences of their bad performance. To be honest, not only was I mad and angry with the President of my campus, because it was his decision that these students got what they wanted. But I was also sad and frustrated, because what we are teaching them, in the end, is not the correct lesson. If they are about to graduate, and they still believe that life will always grant you a second chance, we as a school are being irresponsible.


5. Is everyone in the world “responsible” for everyone else in the world?
Yes, even though is much easier to pretend that we are not. I mean, look at the way a human society was originally conceived, people lived in tribes, and everyone took care of each other. I know we don’t live in tribes but in a global village, nowadays. But I also know that it’s easier to mind our own business than to try to help/change/re-shape what’s going on around. And the line between doing that, merely for altruist purposes, and getting into someone else’s nose is just too thin. So it’s a lot more comfortable for a big percentage of the world’s population simply not to do anything to change the world.

ATTACHMENT - Eduardo Infante

1. What are you attached to that may ultimately be providing more pain, suffering or negative than than pleasure and benefit? And why do you continue to stay attached?

My comfort zone. As surprising as it is, I am rather aware than I am in a comfort zone, and I’ve been doing very little lately to get out of it. Mmhh, in fact, it’s not even like I just realized that I’m living in as comfort zone. It’s more as if I’ve been aware about it for months, perhaps years, and time has elapsed without me trying to do something to stop it.

This comfort zone includes a lot of things. Work is obviously among the most important matters. I’ve been working for the same employer for the past 10 years in three months from now. I’ve learnt a lot working for my university campus. But I’ve also let behind some opportunities, just because I felt protected around here. Safety is something every human being seeks at some instance in their lives. The boundaries between safety and comfort zone are somehow narrow, though. And I think I’ve past protection and security to get stuck in comfort.

Some other aspects of this comfort zone, and thus, attachment, include: status, love, and lifestyle.

2. Does your “attachment score” at the following survey indicate anything important about your feelings on attachment?

No, it does not. I think I’ve known about my attachments since a long time ago. Therefore, the attachment score is not surprising at all. If something, it reminds me that I could always take some risks and start dis-attaching myself from stuff that it’s simply “not allowing me to fly”.

3. Is someone too attached to you?

I believe so. The practical answer would be my daughters are. Yet, at ages 4 and 6, I’m very aware that, if for some reason I disappeared from their lives, it could always be a bummer, but they’d have the capacity to adjust. That’s the gift we all receive from God, the capacity to adjust and make changes. I’ve always believed that one tends to forget about it as you grow old, though.

Now, my wife Amira might be a little different. Sometimes, I have the feeling she’s too attached and too dependant on me. Yet, from time to time I like to remind myself that I’m not that important, either. Nobody is. In the end, you are born, and die, alone.

4. Share your thoughts on the following quote: ”Suffering finds its roots in your desire to be free from something that's either present for you right now or something that you fear may be present for you in the future . . . Your suffering is directly proportional to the intensity of your attachments to these passing phenomena and to the strength of your habit of seeking for some kind of personal identity in the world of forms.” - Chuck Hillig

Just like Andreas does, I don’t think that suffering has to do that much with mathematics as it has to do with feelings and people’s personal experiences. What I do believe is correct, nonetheless, is the fact that attachments, hatred, and not guilt are key components to a miserable life. The more you have them, the smaller the chance to ride a happy life you get.

5. Are you able to get rid of the life you’ve planned, so you can have the life that is waiting for you?

Yes, everybody is able to do such thing. Are we willing to? Are we aware that we can? Do we want to? Are we fearful about it? Are we able to ponder the pros and the cons? Is comfort too big of an issue in our lives so that we rather play it safe? When some of these questions come into play, it gets more, and more, and more complicated. In my case, it’s evident I have not taken a step forward to even take a glance out of the window to see the life that’s been waiting for me and that I have not dared to go greeting.

AUTHOR BIO: Eduardo Infante

(updated!) EDUARDO INFANTE. Aguascalientes, Mexico. Husband. Father of two. Economics & Business Teacher. Football (American) enthusiast. Once thought to become a priest, or the president of his country. Loves to talk. Argue. And listen, “I like teaching because I love talking. But I also thoroughly enjoy listening. And teaching gives you a chance to perform both duties, listening and talking, almost in an non-ending way. And then, there's one more thing I also like doing: arguing.Yes, I'm more of the arguing type. My friends like to say that I'm a stubborn person. They may be right. I'm as stubborn as you can find, especially when there's a beer or two involved. Sometimes I argue because I'm right, and like to defend my points of view. Some other times, I also argue because I like to. Because I can. Throughout life, I've learned that one can get to know oneself very well through arguing, though. Knowing something is wrong and not doing anything to change it, at least to speak up and point it, just does not make sense to me. And so, I've probably gotten myself in more arguments already than most people have in their lifetime.” Eduardo is a daily blogging author at “On Anything Random Thoughts” at: http://eduardoinfante.blogspot.com